I used to think I was not a morning person……
For the longest time- probably from the time I started school- I HATED waking up. I woke up angry most of the time, annoyed and bitter that my warm, safe cocoon of bedcovers, pillows and dreams was being invaded by the demands of going somewhere.
As I got older, this really stumped me. I thought that people who didn’t want to wake up must hate their lives. They must be depressed and miserable- but I wasn’t those things. Once I began moving through the day, I very much liked my life. I have pretty much always had a job that I loved (often two or three at a time)- so I have always loved my work. I have been a student in some type of educational program for most of my life- and I have always adored my classes. So, it stumped me-why I hated waking up in the morning……I never could figure it out.
Three months ago, my husband and I moved into an apartment that is literally right across the street from the school where I teach, and ten minutes down the road from the church where I minister. I have eliminated commuting from my life. I now wake up and have 90 minutes to spend at home before walking across the street to my job. I wake up to peaceful music and lie in bed for 20 minutes or so before I even move. I listen to music, say my prayers and think about my life. Eventually, I get up and make a cup of decaf coffee or tea (I gave up caffeinated coffee two months ago and it has been life changing). I go back to bed with my hot drink and lollygag some more. I read, or listen to one of my guided meditations. I get up after my coffee is finished- do some morning stretches and take a super long, super hot shower. I dress, eat a simple breakfast, do my email and social media and pack my lunch and snacks. I move through this process slowly and mindfully. It is almost like a walking meditation. After a time, I am ready for my 2 minute walk or my ten minute drive, depending on which job I am going to go to that morning.
I figured it out! I am 51 years old and I finally figured it out!
It WASN’T the waking up that I hated……It wasn’t my life that I hated…..or my work. IT WAS THE RUSHING!!!!
When I had 30- 60 min in a car, or on a train or subway- there was no TIME. There was no lollygagging. There was no magazine. There was no guided meditation or coffee in bed. There was no 15 minute shower. There was wake up, get up and hit the ground running so you could get to work or school in time to start your day.
All this time……It was the hurrying I hated. Not the waking up.
Live and learn.
I like mornings now- and I don’t mind waking up at all. ❤️