I Am NOT As Old Inside As I Look On the Outside

Watching a friend’s post of a Lynard Skynard concert from the 70’s. Looking at all of the beautiful young people in the audience…..-all I can think is. “Wow- those are all old people now.”

I can’t get over how fast it happens. It is so weird. In my head, I feel almost exactly like the girl in this photo. That girl was starting out on a great adventure. She had her whole life in front of her……How in the HELL did it get to be 33 years later????? I don’t really feel any different- except maybe I am a little bit wiser.

I’m certainly a lot more cautious.

But I still feel the same when “Born to Run” comes on the radio in my car.

I still feel the same when I see a Christmas tree and hear Wham’s “Last Christmas”.

I still feel the same when I am lost for hours in an amazing book and try to get back to the real world but feel like I am walking in a dream.

I still feel the same when I eat a Peppermint Stick ice cream cone with chocolate jimmies. Or smell an outdoor barbeque. Or ride a bike.

I still feel the same on that first spring night when the clocks are turned forward and you can stay outside in the light until 7pm.

I saw some photos that someone took of me this week…..and all I could think of was “Goodness Gracious- when did I turn into a middle aged woman with grey hair??” (The fact that I actually say Goodness Gracious might be a clue….) I wonder- does it hurt less for people with children? The passing of time? Does it hurt less when you see your family carrying on through the lives of your children and grandchildren? I think maybe that must be better……

It happens so fast.

All I can feel lately is this sense that I am running out of time.

And there is so much I still have left to do.

So much more to accomplish.
I hope and pray that it is not too late.


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